10 Things a New Mama Really Needs

Estimated time to read 8 minutes

On Monday nights after I tuck my son into bed after 2349 stories, my neighbors and I get together, snuggle up on my couch, catch up about our day, and watch the Bachelor. Yes, we’re totes millennials. Somehow, we got talking about motherhood and new mamas with newborns, and the first thing that came out of my mouth when one of my girlfriends was talking about going to visit her friend and her new little bundle was, “When you went to visit her, I hope you brought her a sandwich and didn’t just hold the baby!” They laughed, blushed, and I said, “No, seriously! She just birthed that sweet little baby and probably still wants to snuggle up with her; bring that mama some food, do a load of laundry, empty her dishwasher, ask how SHE is going, andddd give baby snugs…that’s what new moms really need.” It may have come off a little direct, but that was my #momlife real-life “filter” for you. So, then I was nostalgic of my own days as a doe-eyed mama with a newborn and went down memory lane of what a newly postpartum mama really needs in regards to love and support…and it’s much more than just a visit from friends and family coming over to just “meet the baby.”

1. Ask Mama how SHE is doing. and mean it. New moms are often “forgotten” about during the newborn stage, as all eyes are on the baby. But, Mama needs you now more than ever. Give her a hug, some love, and a massive amount of support; just by being present and asking a few simple phrases like “How are you doing, really?” “Are you holding up okay?” “What do I need?” “What can I do to help and support you?” can go a long way.

2. Don’t come over to just hold the baby to “help.” Do moms need and appreciate a baby-pass-off to shower, shave their legs, or eat a meal with two hands? Oh hell yes. BUT, the first couple weeks after getting home from the hospital can be REALLY overwhelming with visits by friends and family popping in and out of the house. Don’t even offer - just do….when you’re over to meet and love on the new baby, also love up on mama in ways that are actually really, really helpful.

3. Building off #2, when you come over to meet a new baby, bring Mama food especially if she’s breastfeeding; she will almost always be starving. Something hearty, like a sandwich, a salad with protein, a freezer meal she can pop in the oven for dinner…anything that takes virtually no effort.

4. Remember, mama and baby need rest. I know for a fact there were days where I wanted to lock my door and hide from everyone so I could snuggle up with my babe and not share him with anyone for like, even just 5 minutes.

5. Do the chores. All of them. Go grab a pile of laundry you see lying around and throw it in the washing machine, or check if there’s anything in the wash that needs to be switched over to the dryer or hung on the line. Check to see if there are dishes in the sink and just do them, without asking.

6. Does Mama have a dog? (If not, skip to #7…) Take Fido on a walk around the block, even if it’s just 5 minutes for pup to get some exercise.

7. Like I said in #3, Mama needs to EAT! Think about setting up a meal train between those who know her or order her grocery delivery.

8. To not feel left out. The worst thing you can do to a new mom is make her feel left out. Although she may never be able to make a happy hour for like the first six months, don’t stop inviting her.

9. If Mama has other kids, now is the time she could really use your help. Offer to pick up her older munchkin and drop them off to her house after school or keep them over for dinner for a bit so she has even more of a break.

10. Encourage her to join a mama group. There’s a group of us that still get together with our kids for playdates, moms’ nights out, happy hour, recreational activities, and more.

BONUS #11. Remember that the journey into motherhood is exciting, but it’s also really scary, overwhelming, and exhausting. There are countless ways to help a new mom postpartum, and most of them don’t cost a thing besides your love and support.